hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
