I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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