Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
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So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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