i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
