Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Randomize
