I think i peed on brittanys purse
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
