yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
how does that bad decision feel?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
