Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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