The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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