So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
