I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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