Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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