Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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