I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
