I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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