So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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