1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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