Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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