I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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