there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
