i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
