Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize