I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
this is an emotional support booty call
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
