My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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