Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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