Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
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Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
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No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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