found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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