her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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