I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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