Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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