he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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