An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
