I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
