Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
