It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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