For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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