I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
