Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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