just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
