you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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