You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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