dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
