So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
