Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
