her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My bed smells like the plague
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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