this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize