GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Found the puke drawer
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
