yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
