He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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