So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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