It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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