apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
