Buhtt sex?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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