Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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