I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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