It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
