He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
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