Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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